As with all true pilgrimages, this journey has been awakening inside of me for many years, choosing me, pulling me, calling me. For over a year now I have known that I am to meet and journey with Ayahuasca, but I have felt strange about paying to do ceremony here in the States. I felt deeply called to travel to the land where the plant and people co-arose together out of the Earth, speaking the same language. I have been waiting for the sign that the time was ripe and finally this last September that sign came in the form of a Peruvian visionary healer and teacher named Eda Zavala Lopez. I arranged an event with my students and the public for Eda to come and do ritual and teachings with us. This happened on September 9, 2007, in Santa Rosa, CA. By this time Eda and I had had many opportunities to share stories and a true heart connection was formed. We both felt it from the start and knew we were destined to meet and work together. She invited me to travel to Peru to visit her home in the beautiful Madre Amazonia.
I didn't expect I would be able to make the journey for many years, due to my full time graduate studies in psychology at the California Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco. Then I decided to just see what would happen if I pretend I could go during my winter break. Suddenly everything easily started falling into place. I met a travel agent who found a decent price for that time of year and a close friend, Liz Reuter, agreed to join me. Eda emailed joyfully exclaiming that the dates I'd asked about were available for her Maestro (a traditional indigenous shaman) and herself.
I put my plane ticket on my credit card and proceeded to email all my friends and acquaintances and past students, telling them about my trip and inviting them to support me on my pilgrimage. On my 35th birthday I threw myself a fundraising party where people could partake in a beautiful dinner with birthday cake, for a donation towards my trip. My Women's Circles showed up with all the food and hosted the whole night for me! Thirty-eight people showed up. Many more loved ones sent donations through the mail. As of today, the contributions from my friends, family and A Coracle Foundation have come to a total of $2735! Special thanks to A Coracle Foundation, a non-profit organization funding women to go on spiritual pilgrimages, who donated $500 towards my trip!
So, it was meant to be. It's in Spirit's hands. This journey to Peru feels very profound for me. It is coming at a time in my life where I am facing many painful realizations about my Mexican heritage. My father's grandparent's emigrated from Mexico to California during the 1910 Mexican Revolution. His parents grew up in the barrios of Los Angeles, following the fruit harvest seasonally and working on the railroads. My father was punished for speaking Spanish at home, his parents were so adamant that their children have no accent. My father dropped out of high school and joined a gang when they lived in Hunter's Point in San Francisco. Eventually he became a business owner and did very well for himself. He unfortunately was a violent man and a heavy drinker. He married my mother, who is Euro-American, desiring to leave behind his Mexican identity.
My brother and I were born into the pain of my parents: my father's cultural/generational post-traumatic stress and my mother's submissive, suicidal depression. I followed my father's lead, becoming ashamed to be Mexican, pretending I was only white. This denial became very painful as I grew older, so painful it woke me up! Now, in my thirties, I have begun the journey of reclamation. Reclamation has looked like many things for me - recognizing my internal oppression, acknowledging the struggles of my family and ancestors, beginning to learn Spanish, and being the voice for the voiceless Latino immigrants whenever I can.
Eda Zavala has been a powerful supporter of my reclamation process. She herself is a Peruvian Indian who was born in Lima, completely assimilated into the mainstream. After graduating from University she trekked into the rainforest to organize the Indians against the logging companies deforesting their homeland. The Indians recognized her spirit right away and told her she should stay with them for a while and do ceremony. She agreed. This began the reclamation of her indigenous soul and traditional ways. Since then she and her brother who is a shaman, have opened up a healing center in the Amazon called HAMPICHICUY. All the proceeds from the center go to protect and preserve the sacred medicinal plants of the Amazon forest and their habitats.
To learn more about the Hampichicuy Center, check out their blog spot at :
http://hampichicuy.blogspot.com/
I leave with my travel companions on January 2. We will return home on January 17.
I will do my best to post blogs as I can in Peru. It is likely I will be away from technology most of the journey, which is a blessing!
I will be thinking of all of you and praying for you highest good!
Maria Gutierrez
