THE SECOND CEREMONY

Much to my surprise, the second ceremony with Madre Ayahuasca was very different from the first. For one, it was four times as strong. We realized later that the strength of the journey has less to do with how much you drink and more to do with the shaman leading the ceremony. 

The second ceremony began the same way the first did. I had my place on my cushions, with my bucket and liter of water. When it was my turn I crossed the floor of the Maloca to receive my cup of Ayahuasca. I saw that the cup was half full. This was more than last time on my first drink, but only by a little. I closed my eyes as I held the cup and offered it to the four directions, Earth and Creator. Then I drank the bitter-sweet medicine in one swig. I returned to my place in the Maloca and closed my eyes. Soon everyone had been served and Javier blew out the oil lamp. Fire flies flitted outside the screened windows, which were basically one long window encircling the Maloca. The singing  was accompanied by a rattle made of dried palm fronds, inducing a hypnotic trance. 

My journey began.

The medicine was very strong. It carried me into a world with no up or down. I felt like I was floating in the midst of the vast cosmos. Intensely complex patterns entered and exited, morphed and unfolded before me and within me. The jungle showed herself to me in all her sacred geometric glory! My body became pure vibrating energy. And the most amazing part - whatever block keeps my head separate from the rest of me opened. Energy rushed up through my neck, through my injuries from the car accident, through the scar tissue, and out the top of my head. Whoooooosh...

I don't know how long this peak lasted, time doesn't exist in these dimensions. But eventually it did fade, just when Javier invited us to receive a second cup. I was not sure a second cup would be wise, since my initial cup was so powerful and complete. I crawled across the floor to Eda and told her I was nauseaus, but not throwing up and my head twitch was feeling magnified with all the energy. She suggested I pass, so I did. 

Once the final person took his seat, Javier began singing the traditional songs. As the others began experiencing the onset of their second cup of medicine, the Ayahuasca within my own body reawakened just as powerfully as before. Yet this time the journey lasted until sunrise, which was four to five hours. During this time Javier and Eda sang the most beautiful Ayahuasca song that sounded so sad to me, before I knew it I was bent over wailing out my ancient heart breaks from childhood. This was my purge. Ayahuasca taught me many things that night. She showed me how strongly I protect my heart from getting hurt. How I shut people out. How my guilt and shame kidnap me away from my life. She showed me the vastness of my heart as well. The expanses of my love. The Oneness I am will all of nature. 

At sunrise, most people were sleeping. Eda woke everyone but me, since I was still awake, and we went to our dorm rooms at Hampichicuy. We spent the next day resting and writing in our journals. Everyone's experience was so intense, no one spoke or shared about the night before with each other until days later.